We all want others to see us in a favorable light. Sometimes that involves polishing our rough edges and improving attitudes that don’t do us any good. There may always be some things we don’t like about our personalities, but it’s impossible to change through our own efforts; we need the Holy Spirit’s help for that. Depending on Him to transform us into the best possible version of ourselves gets us ready for successful personal relationships.
Change is good; anything not changing is stagnating. However, it’s important to change for the right reasons, not just to please another person. Changing can equal growth and maturity, but we first must want to change. Outward change begins on the inside, specifically in our thought lives. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2, NLT).
We’re spirit beings living in physical bodies and possessing souls, which are where our minds reside. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our spirits immediately become as perfect as His. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17). However, because our souls still need work, the Holy Spirit helps us with the process of removing from ourselves what’s not pleasing to God. This is a lifetime process and needs to be done according to God’s Word.
Letting God, not the world, define us is the key to becoming the kind of person others want to be with. A healthy, happy friendship with another person requires spiritual maturity. There’s no one better suited than the Holy Spirit to instill in us what we need. He always points us back to Jesus. “He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ” (Colossians 1:28, NIV).
Any personal issues we may be dealing with will affect our future relationships. We may be coming out of a toxic relationship and need emotional healing, first, before we can move on and become serious about someone else. The Holy Ghost helps us in this area. “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). He focuses on any hurts and disappointments in our lives and restores our broken places back to wholeness.
We may be praying in our hearts to find that one special person to spend our lives with while at the same time fighting the fear of repeating past mistakes. However, trusting God to take the lead in our search guarantees our success. He has our best interest at heart. “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11, MSG). We’re always on God’s mind and He’ll never let us down.
The world may tell us people never change. Our friends may tell us changing the way we are is impossible. God says the opposite. “Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23). Believing that He’s willing and able to change us for the better puts all our relationships into a whole new light.
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